dontlightcandles

I hear a lot of people out in the Pagan community ranting and raving these days about the injustices that are going on. How we are harassed at our jobs and even in out own homes via vile e-mail and letters or even in person. People are telling us we are going to burn in hell, that we are Devil worshipping Satanists and that we do a myriad horrifying things, most of them to small animals and children. Even our President, G.W. Bush, has seen fit to attack our way of life. We know that these accusations are terribly hurtful and the out cry of thousands can be heard at any pagan gathering whether it be on the hundreds of e-mail lists out there or on message boards, in chat rooms and of course in those real time get-togethers across the land. "It isn't true!" we lament, "It is not fair!" we cry. "How dare they!" " How could they!?!" " They do not know me or what I practice!" "I will send them understanding and then they will see the truth!"

It seems like such a simple thing to want to do. To help people see the truth is not a bad thing-or so it is thought by thousands of Pagans who I have come into contact with. To me there is no issue of helping these people to see the truth. I won't do it. We can send peace and healing. Protection if you feel it is necessary is fine as well. Unfortunately, to do anything else, borders on manipulation. When you try to make people see what they do not want to you are manipulating them. You may ask, "How can helping someone be manipulative?" But it really is if we think about it.

It is about these other people's train of thought really. They are telling "you" that you are going to burn in hell, suffer eternally and more. These people are telling you this to save you from yourself not because they are fanatics with nothing better to do-some of these people truly fear for those who do not believe what they believe. They are from a culture that teaches them that everyone is worthy of this glorious after life if only they will see the "right way". They really feel they are helping you to be happy in the end. They are not trying to be cruel in most instances but to help you to be entitled to eternal bliss as they thing that they are. Why would they do this? They are living out of fear. They fear what will happen if they do not do as their own religious leaders tell them. They fear we will "contaminate" their thinking or change them in some way so that they are not worthy of the bliss they so desperately want. They even fear for their children's safety because of what they have been told in error and so they keep them away from not only us our children, as well, because they see an influence that they fear will lead them to an eternity of terror. I understand that. I even pity them. I also accept that they have the right to live in terror if they choose and that I have no right to interfere with that. If I do, it is the same as them wanting to save me from THEIR imagined terrors.

After one of the warnings of my supposed dire circumstances I have said on many and occasion, "Then that is my choice. I think you are wrong, you have the right to your opinion and I have the right to mine so stop telling me what to think. You won't change my mind as I have put a great deal of thought into this matter." The same respect should be given to them. If we try to make them see what it is they are either not ready to see or just do not want to see, we are just as bad as they are. Why is it that we feel justified in spreading the "truth" that seems to be unknown to them? This is the same opinion they have of us and I know that I am not comfortable with them wanting to change the way I feel. I say if the other party chooses not to see the truth we have no right to shove it down their throats. It is MY truth, after all. It does not have to be THEIR truth.

So how do we make a difference? How can we change the opinions that are against us? We can't force the issue but we can be examples in out daily lives. I try to live my life in a way that is honorable and good. I give back to my community and try to be supportive of anyone who needs it. If someone wants to judge me because they do not agree with my religious choices then there is nothing I can do about that. I am thankful that I have the ability to show others, who are more open minded, that I'm OK and I am not going to try to convert them, make them see MY way is the right way, or run off with their babies into the night.

I talk to and inform people who want to know. I inform what my beliefs are and try not to bash others for theirs. To send understanding or to tell people their religion is wrong because of all the inaccuracies in a book they use is not the way to handle things. It is a fine line and one that is too easy to cross. I have crossed it myself on more than one occasion. I am human and there are days when it really shows! I have thrown up the doubts and even the "proof" that I have to them. This did not do any good in the long run. It only enforced the "us against them" mentality. I was wrong to do these things. I realize that and accept that although their frame of mind is not right for me, I have no right to change their beliefs. I only have the right to help someone who asks for help.

Why I Won't Be Lighting Any

Candles For Understanding

By Dawn Thebarge Hill